Tuesday After Lunch Money Memo: MYRRH-MURRINGS OF COMMODITIES

At the granite conference table in the upscale offices of Pasadena ad agency, Batton Barton Durston and Packaloomer, CEO Bob Jelly said to the participants, "What say we go around the table and you people give me your thoughts on the new Myrrh company account the agency just brought in.  I want high concepts here, people."

Judith, the firm's researcher, began with, "Well, the dictionary says Myrrh is a yellowish brown aromatic gum resin with a bitter, slightly pungent taste usually obtained from an East African tree.  Other than some gifting by a few alleged Wise Men 2000 years ago, there's very little modern usage."

Skip, the firm's Account Executive and Chief Hustler, said, "Well, then we've got the religious folks.  We could try a bitter gum for bored teens.  And there's always golfers."

Dexter, another A.E., piped in with, "Perhaps we could get parents to trample each other entering a department store to buy the new 'Myrrh Wars' video game."

Grace, the A.E. who'd brought in a few non-profit accounts, said, "Perhaps the Home and Shopping channel could feature holiday decorating ideas with yellowy brown colored gum resin goop.  Pillow cases?  Umm, are we sure it's not toxic?"

Mickey, the firm's lawyer and the only voice remotely involved in the finances of the firm muttered,  "Maybe we could add value to it in Africa and finally have something to sell to China.  Is there a shortage of myrrh?  Perhaps we could spread rumors of some sort of "Peak Myrrh" problem."

"People, People," Bob Jelly intoned, "The pig is not finding the truffle.  We're double clicking on places here where there's no underlining.  Google won't do placement ads in the same time zone as this empty locker.  I want myrrh-icles."

Skip:  "We could open a Myrrh-Maid Bar and tie it in to Darryl Hannah."  Could we re-badge that old Andy Griffith, Don Knotts and Aunt Bee series as "Myrrh-berry?"

Bo jangles, the hippie artist at the firm, said in between hiccups, "Make Myrrh, not war."

Grace, "Myrrh for the Spirited Man.  It's a deodorant AND a breath mint."

Dexter said, "Good with baked goods, not with bourbon.  Got Myrrh?"

Mickey, "Ahem.  I'm with the Jell Man here.  This isn't running up the flagpole . Nobody's saluting.  And I'm not even sure there is a flagpole for this product.  Why don't we look at that other new account we just got in…that mining company.  What exactly is it they produce?"

Bob Jelly, "Gold, silver, copper, other minerals.  But who'd want to buy that stuff."

All others except Mickey, "Eeeeeyeuw."

Bob Jelly,  "Well, Let's go to lunch.
Perhaps the frankincense people will call." 

And off they went, their heads filled with everything BUT commodities.  Grace went off to donate some time to her local homeless shelter.  She'd recently read the book, The Secret, and believed in the law of attraction.  Putting out good energy would generate good in many ways.

And on a more commercial note, do you really believe that China's $584 Billion dollar stimulus package won't require a few minerals?  Do you think there will be a total construction stoppage on planet earth in the next year?  AT SOME POINT, commodity companies that are screamingly cheap will come back.  Alcoa (Aluminum) is at $8.  (It was $42)  Yamana (Gold) is at $5.  It was at $19. Consolidated Energy (Coal) is at $24, slightly down from $110.  Can you spell After Christmas Sale?  Spread a little Christmas cheer money around.  It might just return to you in 2009 profits.